Extreme Makeover: Home Edition has become one of my favorite television shows. The show, which airs on ABC, is dedicated to rebuilding a family’s home when the family is in need of hope. The transformation is no mere facelift. There are no new coats of paint, additions to the existing structure, or patches here and there. The old is literally torn down, and while some of the elements of the old house may be reused in new ways, what emerges is a completely new home.

Schools could learn a lot from that show. There are many students and families who have lost hope in schools all over this country. The hopeless leads to despair and disengagement, and without outside intervention, these situations can’t be rebuilt. Band-aids, newsletters, and progress reports will not create the extreme makeover for these students and their families.

On the television show, a small team of people arrives at the house of the family for whom the makeover is being done. They spend time getting to know the family, connecting with them, learning about each person’s unique interests, and any special needs or circumstances that will need to be considered in the makeover design. Community resources are then marshaled, as scores of individuals and businesses rally to replace the old structure with just what is needed for each member of that specific family to give them new hope for a brighter future.

The disillusioned and disenfranchised families in our school communities are not all that different than the families on the ABC show. The circumstances that have led to their sense of hopelessness and despair, and caused them to disengage are really not important. What is important is what WE do next.

What if we sent a small team of people to the home of that family? What if we spent time getting to know them, and learning about their unique interests, needs, and circumstances? What if we reached out and helped meet those needs and began restoring hope?

Rhonda Ulmer of Van Bokkelen Elementary School in Severn, Maryland did just that. Five years ago, Van Bokkelen was one of the worst performing schools in the entire state, and was in danger of state takeover because of failure to make AYP for more than one year. Rhonda knew that something major needed to happen. And so she started reaching out to families in the community, soliciting help to get the school turned around. It didn’t take long before it was clear to her that the reason that many families were not more engaged in the school was because all of their time and energy was going to solve more basic challenges like providing shelter for their family, getting medical care for their children, putting food on the table, and trying to keep their children safe while they worked two jobs to just keep their head above water most of the time.

So Rhonda started marshalling community resources to meet the needs. She convinced the city to buy an abandoned building in the middle of the neighborhood, just up the street from the school, and put a medical clinic there. She had local groups bring first time homebuyers programs, complete with incentives that contributed down payments to purchasers completing a financial education program to the school. She brought GED programs to the school. She brought job skills training programs. She brought after school enrichment and child care programs. She brought more and more programs that addressed more and more of the basic needs the families needed. The school became the hub of the community, meeting the needs of more than just elementary aged students. As families started coming to the school to access these basic needs through the services offered there, they began connecting with teachers, with the principal, and with each other.

Five years later, Van Bokkelen has been transformed. Seventy-eight percent of fifth graders scored proficient or advanced in state math testing this year. The school has made AYP 4 years in a row. Grades and test scores are up across the board – but even more importantly – hope is restored to families who were desperately in need of hope – and re-engaged in the educational lives of their children.

Where will the next Extreme Makeover: School Edition be?

I get asked this question a lot. Unfortunately, the word “friendly” has all sorts of connotations in the minds of many that do not further the cause of systemic family engagement. Many people loosely throw the term around to mean everything from caving in to every parent’s demands to using it as a battering ram to clobber any decision, regulation, or policy that somebody, somewhere doesn’t like. I thought it was time to set the record straight. From our perspective, the following paragraphs constitute the foundational philosophical pillars of what we believe constitutes a Family Friendly School.

A family friendly school is one that is committed to establishing healthy relationships with all families to support the learning outcomes of all children through active family engagement.

Schools that support a family friendly philosophy believe in and nurture the active engagement of all parents and families and put into place systems and processes to engage those parents and families that may, for whatever reason, be disengaged. Schools that are family friendly understand that families are the first and most influential teachers of their children. Without successful relationships and engagement, the ultimate goal of all students learning may remain an elusive dream.

A family friendly school is a welcoming school that desires effective two-way communication with families and is committed to ensuring that all students and their families have successful experiences. At those junctures when conflict or problems arise, a family friendly school is committed to an open dialog about issues. A family friendly school engages families in the creation of procedures, policies, and practices and continuously reviews them to ensure applicability and clarity. Once established, policies, procedures, and practices are adhered to by all staff, students and families and are communicated diligently throughout the school and community. The key to success is constancy to purpose.

A family friendly school has at its core the fundamental principle that families must be engaged in the academic lives of their children and to that end, incorporates the philosophy into an overall continuous improvement plan. School staff reach out to all families, with an emphasis on those families that are non-traditional or whose situations may lead to disengagement from education. All staff support the important construct of home learning by designing systems and processes to build the educational culture, capital and capacity of all families so that their children, regardless of circumstances, are successful.

Most importantly, a family friendly school does not surmise successful engagement based on anecdotal information but rather, engages in a model of quality planning and evaluation that incorporates specific data to ensure the continuous improvement of efforts to engage all families and thus, improve the learning outcomes for all children.