This is the first in a series blog entries chronicling Dr. Constantino’s recent trip to Australia.

Preparing for the “Down Under” Experience

Prior to leaving for Australia, I decided to ask myself an essential question: What is it that I knew about the land “down under?” I quickly realized that I knew just about what most average American’s knew: They had one opera house and it was in Sydney; they had kangaroo’s and Koala bears; and of course don’t forget Crocodile Dundee. I don’t know if eating at the Outback Steakhouse qualifies as knowledge of Australia. It didn’t take but a few moments to discern that I knew very little about this country. Time to get to work.

The land mass of the island of Australia is about the size of the United States. There are 21 million people in Australia and most of them live around the perimeter of the country. (The United States has over 10 times the number of people and we are spread out all across the country, with obvious concentrations as well.) The aboriginal culture is native to the land. The tropical portion of the country is in the north. Most of the center of the country is dry desert and almost inhabitable. Boomarangs actually work. The Didgeridoo is a native aboriginal musical instrument.

If you have never been to Australia and are planning a trip, here are a few tips that might make your first few hours a bit less complicated than mine:

1. Learn to like time on an airplane: The flight from Los Angeles to Melbourne, AU is approximately 14 hours. I read, watched movies, ate two meals, slept, read again, watched a few television shows and when all of that was done, there were still three hours left in the flight. Plan accordingly.
2. Don’t get too attached to days of the week: When you travel to Australia, you will cross the international date line as such, you will lose a day. For example, we left Los Angeles at 11:30 pm Friday evening and arrived in Melbourne Sunday morning. I am still looking for Saturday. Of course, when you return, you get to repeat an entire day, so I guess it all works out…just don’t think about it too much.
3. Find a copy of Australian rules Football: If you read the rules before you go, you won’t sit in front of the television and tilt your head to the side trying to figure out what they are doing and why they have no padding!
4. When is an entrée not an entrée? In Australia, when you order at a restaurant, the entrée is a smaller portion that is an early course in a multi-course meal. If you want our version of an entrée, order the one that says main. You will be less hungry.
5. If you are Italian, beware: In the United States, we use the term marinara to mean a plain red sauce. In Australia, if you order pasta with marinara sauce, you get a sauce that has seafood chunks in it.
6. Don’t trust your shadow: Remember, you are in the southern hemisphere so your shadow is opposite of what it is in the northern hemisphere.
7. Listen to all the words that end in a “y” sound: The Australian’s have this cute little habit of chopping off words and putting a “y” at the end of them. For example, football is “footy,” if it rains, don’t forget your “brelly,” if someone wants to give you a “presy” take it, that’s a present. “Brissy” is Brisbane, an so on. You will get the hang of it after a while.
8. Lose your worries: I think the national motto of Australia is “No Worries!” Everyone says it and they mean it. They are a wonderful, kind, laid back people. We could learn a few things from them.
9. Look left, no, right, no… no wait: Because Aussies drive on the other side of the road learn quickly to look the opposite way from what you are accustomed to when you cross the street. Failure to remember this is hazardous to your health.
10. Up is on, down is off: Light switches are the opposite of ours. A smart person would have figured this out much more quickly than I did! Also, power outlets all have switches as well. So, if you use your adapter and plug in your appliance and then find out it doesn’t work, check to see that the switch on the outlet is what? Yup, DOWN. Of course, it took me about five hours and the purchase of two more adapters to learn this simple lesson. Must be the whole southern hemisphere thing.
11. No, people are not cussing at you: Often, when Aussies want to thank you or praise you they will say “good anya.” At first, you think they are saying something quite different! Don’t be alarmed…it’s a good thing. Learn all the Australian phrases you can and you will hit the ground running. See if you can figure out what “Fair Dinkum” means!
12. Yes, they do say those things: The charm of Australia is listening to their speaking and their heartfelt good wishes toward each other. Yes, they say “G’day!” Yes, everybody is somebody’s “mate,” and of course, make sure you have “no worries!” Put it all together and you have your first lesson in Australian language: “No worries! G’day mate!”
13. Melbourne has no “R”: Pronounce Melbourne as “Melbin” and you will fit right in. The Australian accent is profoundly British, but has some interesting pronunciation that makes it, well, delightfully Aussie!
14. Do the opposite of what your instincts tell you: If you are from North America and you get lost in the city, do the opposite of whatever your instincts tell you to do. Remember the whole southern hemisphere, north is south, shadow is opposite thing and go the other way. It works! (I must thank my Australian friend John O’Meara for teaching me this very valuable lesson.)

Here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure...







You are ready! G’Day Mate!!!

Next: Education is Australia